MARRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Hey everybody! I just wanted to take this oportunity to thank everyone who donated money to buy clothes for the family on Thursday. Me and my dad brought the presents to there house yesterday, and they definetly needed what we got for them. Oh, and the girls looked like they would absolutley LOVE the clothes, and the boy looked about the right size too. I can not wait until tommorrow, as I will spending the day with my dads side of the family. Its not that its better with them, just different, as my mom's side has a half dozen kids under 6 year's old, and my sister Abby is the youngest on my dads side. So yeah anyway, I just wanted to thank everybody again for coming to the partay, and I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

P.S. This entire post, while completly heartfelt, contains several glaring spelling and grammatical errors that are driving Maya insane right now. She probably wishes she had acess to my blog so she can edit it herself, but, alas, she can't! Merry Christmas Mayah Kuhn!

It's that time of year...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's finally here, the event that we anxiously yearn for this time each year. That's right, the John Hansen Year in Review at the Movies has made it's long-awaited re-emergence. And let's take a look, shall we?

http://www.brainerddispatch.com/stories/122
304/ent_1223040001.shtml

For those of you who'd rather just see the Top 10:
1. Garden State
2. Napoleon Dynamite
3. Mean Creek
4. The Village
5. Miracle
6. Team America: World Police
7. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
8. The Grudge
9. Friday Night Lights
10. National Treasure

Everyone should now take a moment to linger in the aura of greatness that emanates from every piece of journalistic genius that is the work of John Hansen. And by that, I mean feel free to throw up a little bit in your mouth at the terrible prose, over-abundance of hyphens - that's right, he uses them a crapload-, and incessant name-dropping. That'll leave a great taste in your mouth for the next twenty or so minutes. Until that nauseous feeling subsides, Merry Christmas!

In a theater near you

Just in time for the holidays, "Fat Albert" has been unleashed on the public. Starring the amazingly hilarious Kenan Thompson, this film is sure to be recieve both popular and critical acclaim... What?...The early reviews are in?...Let's take a look for oursleves:

"When the characters return to their TV home at the urging of their real-world friends, it feels like the film is finally acknowledging that it has no reason to exist."
- The Onion A.V. Club

"… content to adhere to a mantra of "when in doubt, dance" rather than finding any clever entertaining ways to punctuate the prolonged moralizing."
- The Hollywood Reporter

"Hey, hey, hey? No, no, no."
- Variety

That is just shocking! But the previews looked so good! I will never trust Hollywood again!

Question of the day Part Deux

Which would rather not be able to control: the volume and pitch of your voice or your bowel movements?

Question of the day

Would you rather fart out of your ears or puke out of them?

Disgusting? Absolutely.
Hilarious? Heck yes.

My bad

Hey everybody. Sorry, I haven't posted in a couple of days, but I'm at home now, so I don't have a whole lot of time. Well, actually I do, but I have other entertainment options at home rather than just sitting at my desk all day checking the updates on everyones blogs. So, all that is to say that I'll try to post, but I make no promises for the next month. After that, its all on again.
Oh, be looking for information on the Christmas party in your e-mail later this week. I keep thinking of cool things to do, so I hope we have enough time to do it all.
Um, I think that's it...........Yep, I'm done. Peace out

Oh Joy!

This has to be some kind of record: The new holiday classic, "Surviving Christmas" starring Ben Affleck and James Gandolfini, released to theaters on October 22, will be available for purchase wherever videos are sold on December 21 of this year. That's right, they're releasing it 2 months after it was first shown in theaters. So, if you know anyone who was particularly touched by this film, wait and get it for them for Christmas this year. And as much as I liked Ben Affleck circa 1999, he needs to stick to his day job (aka, playing second fiddle to j lo and matt damon)

I Heart Christmas Music

There should be a radio station that just plays Christmas music year round. Sure, some of it is kinda cheesy, and some of it just plain sucks, but most of the time it just makes me really happy. I like how different artists can sing the same song and make it sound different each time, and yet each time is amazing. For instance, they could an entire album of people singing "O Holy Night," and I'm pretty sure I could listen to the whole sing several times in a row. Anyways, thats my thoughts. And i get to go home on Saturday now, so I'm excited like no other! and I get to see Oceans 12 tomorrow night, which makes it that much better.

Hey Lindsay, the 80's called... (insert punchline here). 

Baba Wawa

For those of you who thought Barbara Walters still had a thread of journalistic integirty, I believe her naming Paris Hilton one of the 10 Most Intriguing People of 2004 proves you wrong.

The greatest story ever told (A tribute to Maya)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says:

mayah says:
uhhhhhh
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says:
wait, it tells a story
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says:
there once was a cat who had friend who gave him a rose.
mayah says:
hahhaah
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says:
he got the idea to give something back to the friend, but he couldnt's decide whether to wrap a soccer ball, money, or his Ken doll
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says:
he eventually decided to give an island trip, but it started raining when he was there. Then the sun came back out and there was a rainbow
mayah says:
uhh you need to stick a sun in there
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says:
meanwhile, back at home, the cat was seducing his friend's girlfriend, but they broke up when he talked about what she likes to do with sheep in bed behind her back
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says:
and the sun is implied



See that blank space after HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETH!!!!! says: ? that's where the emoticons that tell the story are supposed to be. But for whatever reason, they don't work. So the only people who will fully understand this are Maya and myself. And that's the way it should be.

Ahh, Inspiration

To everyone who recently posted on their various blogs about apathy and doing things to help others rather than themselves: Thank you. I absolutely agree with everything that was said. America has so much potential to help not only the people in our own country, but the rest of the world as well. I'm always shocked and disheartened when I hear about the thousands of Africans who die from AIDS EVERY DAY, and then I hear about congress cutting new funding to help curb this epidemic. And then i just get back to my normal routine and do nothing about it. Terrible.
Anyway, this post does have a point: In the spirit of the season, I've decided to add a facet to my Christmas party. What I would like to do is have people bring money donations, and then we'll all go and buy toys and donate them to a toy drive. The only problem with this is that the party is so late in the season, I'm not sure if there are any places still accepting donations. So, if anyone knows of a place that would work or has an alternative idea, please let me know. I think that this could be a lot of fun, and we can start putting our money where we claim our hearts are.
Thats it.
Peace out.

Question of the day

Would you rather sweat cheese or cry mustard?

What's up with people on e-Bay?

After the virgin mary grilled cheese, this seems tame - maybe. A woman has put her father's ghost up for sale on e-Bay in an effort to alleviate her son's fear of his grandfather following his death in their home lost year. The bid's up to like $80, and the auction includes the man's metal walking cane to make it legitimate. When I read the whole story behind it, I can't decide if it's touching or crazy. Either way, it's worth a look.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/internet/12/04/ghost.for.sal
e.ap/index.html

Question of the day

Would you rather be poor and famous or rich and infamous?

And none of this "i'd rather be plain and simple" crap. It's one or the other, no ambiguity at all. Me personally, I would rather be poor and famous, because everyone would know my name and I could mooch off of all of my famous friends.

So I lied...

If you haven't read the previous several posts, do so before this one.

Ok, I had to put this down before I forgot about it, bc it's too good to pass up.

Sign #428 that the Apocalypse is upon us:

Antonio Banderas has his own brand of cologne called "Spirit"
Does he really deserve a scent? I mean, seriously, the guy hasn't been in a good movie since The Mask of Zorro (Except Spy Kids, and that's an acquired taste that I like but his performance was so-so at best). Either way, nothing says "My career is going down the tubes" like an attempt to move into retail. It also says "My career is going amazingly well, and I'm gonna milk it for all its worth," which is odd that it can signify such polar movements. Ok, so i'm rambling, the point is, in this case, it's the former, and he needs to embrace his role as the token latino in a string of crappy movies and live comfortably wherever he so chooses to. Just don't invade my dorm room with your images of fiesta and fun, cause you're not fooling anyone.
That is all.

I have no life

So, yeah, this is my SEVENTH post in less than two hours. This is mainly due to the fact that I'm at work, and no one ever comes into the store. Like ever. So far today, I've had three customers:

1. Student who wanted to put a poster up in the window.
2. Old guy out for a run who wanted to buy the new Norah Jones but didn't have any money.
3. Student who wanted to look at our jazz selection, which is non-existent (sorry Sully, I don't make the inventory decisions)

Other than that, I am fast approaching the conclusion of my second listen to U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (not as good as All That You Can't Leave Behind, but definitely worth it), and I'm gonna go play some superarcade now.

Maybe I did all of this posting bc I feel bad about not having posted anything for a week and a half except for the Ken Jennings eugoogoly (a Zoolander reference to the unfortunate majority who are ignorant to the film's hilarious existence). Then again, who knows. Maybe I'm just bored out of my mind and I have no life, so I live vicariously through my blog-self. Either way, if I post any more today, you'll know that I am officially desperate like a housewife and lay in bed all day looking at my amazing display of Christmas lights that put up yesterday.

Ok, thats it, peace out.

Maybe not - Hannah, or anyone, is there something special I have to do to fix the sidebar on my blog? If you could help me out, that'd be great. Ok, now really, that's it. Peace out

Another Brick in the Wall that is Jennifer Stockinger's Journalistic Legacy

"Another time, Holbrook said his friend found a picture of Howard Dean. They added the words "Hail to the Chief" to the screen and found a mix of Dean's music to play. This graphic was displayed at the beginning and end of the morning announcements."

- From the Josh Holbrook FASOTW article in today's Dispatch. Howard Dean cut a record? Consider my world officially rocked.

http://www.brainerddispatch.com/stories/120204/ent_1202040007.shtml

Distrubing...

Is anyone else mildly disturbed by Ethan's repeated confessions of his love for Hannah on both her blog and his own?
The time on one was like 10 AM. He can't be THAT drunk by then, can he? Then again, it is Ethan...

My finals Schedule

Difficulty rated as follows:
1 - Don't have to take it because of my grade in the class
2 - Hopefully Don't have to take because of my grade
3 - Insanely Easy
4 - Boring
5 - Mildly difficult
6 - Moderately Difficult
7 - Difficult
8 - As Difficult as Maya's Chemical Engineering final

Monday (12/6) - Lifetime Fitness (Rating: 3)
Tuesday (12/7) - First Year Seminar (4)
Thursday (12/9) - Music Business Seminar (5)
Friday (12/10) - Computer Fundamentals (4)
- Quantitative Mehtods in Business (1)
Monday (12/13) - British Literature (2)

And thats it. Essentially, if I get a high enough grade on my essay revision in Brit Lit, I will be done with finals on Friday morning. And my flight doesn't leave until Wednesday the 15th. How much does that suck? (and by suck, I mean rock in an odd sort of way)

50 Most Frigid

www.filmthreat.com recently released their list of the 50 least intriguing people in Hollywood of 2004. Here's some highlights:

1. Michael Moore - "But, hey, look on the bright side; no Presidential candidate endorsed by Michael Moore has ever won an election. So, Michael, why not endorse a Republican in 2008, just to see what happens?"

2. Halle Berry - "If she makes any more muck along the lines of Gothika and Catwoman, the Academy should send Berry a self-addressed stamped envelope and a letter requesting the return of her Oscar."

3. Michael Eisner - "Did Dopey give Eisner a blood transfusion?"

4. M. Night Shyamalan
5. Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson - "There was a time when a Ben Stiller flick meant plenty of belly laughs. Today, a new Ben Stiller movie is as funny as a thick, wet and chunk-filled fart."

6. Nicole Kidman
7. Reese Witherspoon
8. Jimmy Fallon - "The guy most notorious for blowing his lines on Saturday Night Live crossed over to the big screen in “Taxi” – and nobody cared."

9. Paris Hilton - "Honestly, we can’t think of any way to stop her. She's dumb to the point where even "dumb" is embarrassed.'

10. Ben Affleck - "He’s been cursed with the incredible shrinking career: dumped by J.Lo, ignored by audiences, and reduced to making guest shots on TV celebrity poker tournaments."

Others of note:
15. Ashley Judd - "Is it possible for her to play one more “female police officer” or “high powered attorney” aside either Samuel L. Jackson or Morgan Freeman? With Judd, it's either cop, lawyer, victim or cute-girl-down-the-hall, either way she's sure to spend time lounging around in her bra. All the movies combined make a DVD boxed set… of poop."

20. Ashton Kutcher - "It’s okay to use your indoor voice, really it is. And the whole P. Diddy thing is super annoying"

22. Hillary Duff - "Two teen twits bickering over who’s the most empty-headed, disposable pop star is actually more entertaining than their movies. Duff VS. Lohan – A Steel Cage Match! "

25. Meg Ryan - "Some perverse laughs can be found in watching her try to frantically save her career, but that novelty will wear off in due time."

32. Adrien Brody - "At least Catherine Zeta-Jones gets to talk in her TV commercials."

36. Tim Burton - "Just make sure that no harm comes to Mr. Wonka, his Chocolate Factory, or Charlie and perhaps we can learn to forgive and forget."

42. John Travolta - "We still have a bone to pick with Quentin Tarantino for making Barbarino an A-lister again. Not that he's done anything with his status."

45. Natalie Portman and Keira Knightly - "One or the other, it's that simple. Really. It's just too damn confusing."

Yeah, check out the rest of the list if you want.

I Heart MN Senators

Norm Coleman, you devil.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/12/01/annan.coleman/index.html

I don't need any evidence for Mark Dayton, except that we're like this because I met him in 9th grade when I was the Franklin Student Council President and he was just a lowly candidate looking for a PR boost. He's really short too.

Reflections on "House of Sand and Fog"

It's amazing that they can make a movie centered around a property dispute and have it be that good. Lots of deep crap about identity, happiness, success, etc... Definitely worth watching, but not if you don't feel like being a tad bit depressed after.

A eugoogoly

Farewell Ken Jennings, you trivia king
We knew thee all too briefly.
While challengers came and challengers went,
you dispatched them all so chiefly.

We may never know the full extent
of your knowledge vast,
but we can try to follow the path you've layed
paved with knowledge of the past.

I can honestly say I never actually saw
an episode that you were on
but you still impacted my life in profound ways
especially now that you're gone.

May the world forever remember you deeds,
your Mormon-ness and you prowess.
Now Alex Trebeck can move on with his life
and you can go whoop Bobby Fisher at chess.

Amen.

Great moments in lyric writing

Get out (Leave!)
Right now

- "Get out (Leave)" by Jojo

Girl you're my angel, you're my darling angel
Closer than my peeps you are to me baby...
...She was there through my inacarceration
I wanna show the nation my appreciation.

- "Angel" by Shaggy


You always dress in yellow
When you want to dress in gold

- "Why Not" by Hillary Duff

All you people look at me like I'm a little girl
Well did you ever think it'd be ok for me to step into this world?
Always saying, "Little girl, don't step into the world"
Well I'm just tryin' to find out why, 'cause dancing's what I love

- "Im a Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears

Let me know if you think of any other classics.

Does this make any sense?

further evidence that I have no life: I just sat down and figured out the price per meal for each of the meal plans offered at belmont and I am offically appalled. The plan I have right now is all 20 meals (brunch on Sundays) and comes out to $5.21 per meal. The next closest plan costs the exact same amount, but you only get 16 meals/week and an extra $100 worth of "Bruin Bucks" (basically money to pay for meals when you overuse your meal plan). This averages out to $6.11 per meal. The smallest plan is 10 meals/ week, plus $225 Bruin Bucks, for an average of $6.83 per meal! How big of a rip off is that?

Now, consider this: If I ate every meal at the caf and just used cash to pay each time, it would average out to $5.84. This plan makes the most sense, but they don't allow you to do it if you live in campus housing, so I'm stuck over-paying for a crappy buffet. I'm a little bitter.

But I get to go home tomorrow, so its all good.

She brought them up right

Well, there's a lady who died a couple of weeks ago and, on her deathbed, confessed to her children that she killed her husband and hid the body in a storage unit. Well, they found it, and there is an autopsy expected to determine when he died, possibly as long ago as 1990. Where did this date come from? It's the year the woman started telling her kids their father died in a car accident. My question: Wouldn't you want to have a funeral for him if your dad died? Maybe see an article on it in the paper? Or at least come and console your newly-single mother? I guess not these kids.

Now that's naivete at its finest.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/11/19/deathbed.confession.ap/index.html

Update on the Virgin Cheese Part II

Wow. So, I guess all of the "pre-approved" bidders that drove the price way up have retracted their bid, cause now the highest bid is $3000. Too bad for the retard who posted it.

The MNF Controversy

Eh, too easy.

Update on the Virgin Cheese

Hey, if you want to follow this insane expression of American freedom, click on the link below:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19270&item=5535890757&rd=1

Last time I checked, bidding was up to over $69,000, and the bidding doesn't end until Monday. That means Bill Gates has to spend the entire weekend trying to figure out some way to block the eBay servers so he can be the high bidder.

Direct from the CLC Library (thanks Jenny) 

Ok, SERIOUSLY, I'm in the wrong business

Yesterday I made a sarcastic comment about the person who tried to sell the grilled cheese on eBay that looked like the Virgin Mary. Well, I spoke too soon, as eBay has let it back up for bid, and some people rich in welath and not in brains have pushed the highest bid up to over $16,000!!!!!! Seriously, what the crap, how do I get in on this? Apparently, in response (and this is totally for real), two new grilled cheese auctions have been created. One has the imprint of the Virgin Mary's chewing gum. The other bears the image of Mary Kate and Ashley. Seriously, if you want to read how stupid this person sounds, read the article.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/11/16/ebay.sandwich.ap/index.html

Yahoo for school spirit

Last night I went to a pep rally for the Belmont Bruins basketball team (mainly bc they were giving away $500 to one person (no, i didn't)) and they had musical entertainment. This consisted of covers of Journey, Ashlee Simpson and Avril, among other things. Thats definitely the way to get college students worked up at 10:30. Sing crap. Gooooood call.

I'm in the wrong business

I love this: some guy tried to sell a half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich on e-bay that apparently bore the image of the Virgin Mary. I should sell my piece of cinnamon toast crunch that looks like a stigmata. I hear there's a big offer for anyone with a head of lettuce shaped like Moses. If you got it, I can hook you up.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/11/16/ebay.sandwich.ap/index.html

I Heart Dre

I love it when people blatantly perpetuate their own stereotypes. It brings such warmth to my heart.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/16/vibe
awards.fight.ap/index.html

Potential Excitement

So, I clicked on one of those po up ads today, and signed up for some trial memberships to different services, and now I'm pretty sure I'm getting a free X-Box. I'm really excited. It better work. I'll keep you posted.

Rich Michael Moore

So, Michael Moore is planning a sequel to "Fahrenheit 9/11" to be in theaters in two to three years. I can make 1 of 2 conclusions from this:
1. If we elect a Democrat, he'll shut up for a couple of years.
2. He's as greedy as the politicians and corporations he condemns. Hypocrisy? No, not him...

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/11/11/film.fa
hrenheitfollow.ap/index.html

My life is now complete

http://movies.go.com/moviesdynamic/movies/movie?id=685886

Seriously, I can die now. And I hope I do before I have to watch this filth.

Random things that I don't Understand

1. Killing/Injuring Senior Citizens: Every once in a while, I hear stories about people who killed their grandparents or burglars who stab 87 year-old women named Iris. I think there is a heirarchy of acceptablility in killing (from most acceptable to least)

1. Men aged 21-55
2. Men aged 55-70
3. Women aged 30-55
4. Men aged 70+
5. Women aged 21-30
6. Men 16-21
7. Women 70+
8. All women youner than 21 and men younger than 16

And the second thing...
2. Why is it that news programs have this fascination with stories of abused animals. Do they really have nothing more important to report than a guy who got arrested for having 8 malnourished dogs? I mean, sure, you can report it in the middle of the newscast, but does it have to be your top story? What does that about our values when they report a reclusive old woman with 75 disease-ridden cats over the death of two people in a car accident? I could care less about the affairs of Health and Human Services and Animal Control. Tell me what really matters, what could impact my life in a tangible way. Don't give me some 20-something intern reporting live from the reposessed animal farm.

Take that, NRA

http://www.click2houston.com/news/3899474/detail.html?subid=22100412&qs=1;bp=t

Poor Michael Moore

What's that, Mike? You can't get a Golden Globe for your liberal crap? Go make a hard-hitting expose... That'll teach them to mess with you. Yeah, thats the ticket... Huh? Yeah, you can put that next in line after you beat up the health insurance industry and take down that meanie over in Britain... Yeah, he is a pretty intimidating figure isn't he? So big and brauny and strong? Oh, wait, no, he's the slight of build Brit with brains... Oh yeah, good call goin after him, that should further your cause immensely.

Do you ever get the feeling that no one reads your blog, that you're pretty much just talking to yourself... Yeah, me too.

Marketing at its best

Pretty sure the marketing department at Dreamworks animation is amazing. They had the audacity to release "Shrek 2" on DVD on a Friday (typically Tuesday), the same weekend that Pixar released "The Incredibles" in theaters. That forced parents to decide if they would take their rugrats to the multiplex or Wal-Mart for entertainment, and most parents probably chose to pick up Shrek during their normal errands rather than take extra time out to go to the movie theater. Sure, "The Incredibles" opened to over $70 million, but their gross could've been over $100 million if it weren't for Dreamworks, who'll take a much smaller hit in DVD sales than Pixar will at the box office.

Genius.

Why the Cardinals aren't the only thing St. Louis needs to feel like crap

According to a Mens Health poll, St. Louis is the least sexy city in America.

Apparently Fremont, CA is the sexiest, which just proves that California is a secret government dumping ground for rich whores. ( The O. C.? What?)

Why Boston is Weird (but I still want to go there someday):

1. Yeah, the Red Sox won, but since then: John Kerry lost, the Patriots lost, the Celtics lost, and the Bruins are locked out.
2. The Boston accent is so messed up, computers can't even figure it out.
http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/3891181/detail.html?subid=22100410&qs=1;bp=t
3. They have some pretty stupid people, like the lady who handed out her engangement ring with Halloween candy.
http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/3883474/detail.html?subid=22100410&qs=1;bp=t

Possibly the greatest video ever

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/sportka.html

Great news for those with roommates:

Click the headline.
Merry Christmas!

Also...

Tonight is one of my favorite nights on television: the SNL Presidential Bash at 9 on NBC. This years cast is much improved over last year, basically because they took out Jimmy Fallon. So yeah, should be good.

so i'm a little slow...

Yeah, I know, I haven't done this in a while. My bad.

Anyway, I want to take this opportunity to let everyone know about the best night on television, just in time for November sweeps. ABC has been absolutely horrendous in recent years, ever since they over played "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?", but they have turned things around big time. This is most evident on Sunday nights.

First word of warning: NEVER, under no circumstances, tune in before 7 PM, as the classic reality show "America's Funniest Home Videos" is slowly dying the painful death it deserves. Just because you thought it was funny when you were nine doesn't justify putting yourself through that kind of pain.

Once 7 rolls around though, get ready for 3 hours of television enjoyment, starting with "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition". Unlike shows like "Trading Spaces" and "While You Were Out", this show gives deserving people a chance at a new life through a new home. By the end of the show, if you're not smiling, you have no heart. Period. The crew is fun, but not annoying, and they do some of the coolest renovations I've ever seen.

Next up is the best new show in years, "Desperate Houswives." While the commercials for this show during the summer made it look like a sexfest in suburbia, its not even close. There is one wife who is having an affair with the gardener, but beyond that, the stories focus on troubled marriages, dating after divorce, and parenting problems. All of this is woven around the mystery behind a neighbor's suicide. This show is entertaining to say the least, and I love Teri Hatcher as the dating sigle mom and Felicity Huffman as the mother of hyperactive twin boys who make her life hell.

Finally, "Boston Legal" comes on at 9. I was very disappointed last year when "The Practice" was canceled, especially after the new additon of James Spader. Much to my delight, they gave him his own spin-off series, and its much better than its predecessor. Its a legal drama, but its nowhere near typical. James pader as Alan Shore should win a second consecutive Emmy for the role. Shore may be the most underhanded, rude, and blunt character on network television, and I absolutely love him. His commentary is off color, random, and hilarious. Also, I normally dont like William Shatner, but his portrayal of Denny Craine is almost on par with Spader. Shatner also goes deeper into the dramatic than Spader, as his character deals with the complications of old age, including the prospects of Alzheimers.

So, yeah, this might sound a little like a John Hansen article, and I'm sorry for that, but I couldn't think of any other way to put it. If you haven't checked out this line-up, you have to. Seriously. Straight up. Peace out.

Random, but true...

Did anybody else know that there's a new band called "Junior Boys"? Just an fyi.

He should've stayed in Philadelphia

A CNN.com headline was as follows:

"Man on fire says he killed his wife"

Why, Denzel? Why?

Wow

okay, I cant think of any witty comments for this one, its just straight up weird.

http://www.local6.com/news/3804899/detail.html?subid=22100428&qs=1;bp=t

How are people this stupid?

According to Esquire magazine, the sexiest woman alive is Angelina Jolie. Yeah, if by sexy, you mean:

• scary beyond all reason
• once carried her husbands blood in a vial around her neck
• had a relationship with her brother
• is a sucky actress (except Girl, Interrupted)

Now, the #2 sexiest was Halle Berry. Thats another story...

In your face maya

So, I got to go home last weekend, and it was tons of fun. I got to see Haley, Boos, Meg, and Sully for lunch, which was lots of fun. My mom made like my 3 favorite meals that aren't ordered by phone. I got to hang out with people that I worked with at camp this summer, and that was tons of fun. I hung out with my sister a bunch. I watched Mystic River with Jenny. I went to McDonalds breakfast with Swan. I dont care if my sentence structure is repetitive, I had fun.

Now its only like 4 1/2 weeks until Thanksgiving. If I can survive thsi month, I can make it through anything.

My Weird Dream

So last night I had a dream that I was eating lunch with Nicki Spear and Ashley and then Nicki said something about inviting Amanda Hanson too, and then Amanda appeared next to her. Then Kareem Abdul-Jabbar came up and talked to Ashley, and that wasn't weird for anyone because he was her father. Then I woke up.

I have a headache and i feel lightheaded.

See above.

The Ultimate Stupid Word

Boo.

No, not like Casper the friendly ghost "boo." The ebonics term for boyfriend "boo." What the crap does that mean? Do people really think they sound cool talking like that? And I think that the only people who actually use "boo" in that context are performers, and the frequency of its usage is reaching epidemic proportions. I never thought that I would dislike any word more than using "crush" to describe someone you like (i.e. "Oh my gosh, Philicia, what did your chrush say to you now?" and "You are so crushing on her."), but "boo" is just plain stupid.

Also, whats up with using "menstrual" all of a sudden to describe an attitude? Like in the commercial where, following one girls confession that she wants a brownie, her friend says "Oh yeah. She's menstrual." Are the people who run the networks trying to lose their entire male viewing base by showing these commercials? Stupid people.

From My Calendar

"I was coming to work early this morning down Fifth Avenue in the predawn darkness and it reminded me of the old days when I was doin the Today show, because I saw the homless people in the church shleters and the park benches....And you feel great sympathy for them. But you also envy the extra hour of sleep that they're getting...you go by and say, 'If I were them, I would still be sleeping.'"
NBC Newsman Tom Brokaw, filling in for Matt Lauer

I, personally, appreciate Mr. Brokaw's honesty. I too am jealous of the homeless people's ability to sleep in.

Why Bill Clinton Wishes He'd Waited 8 Years

Elyssa Young is running for the U.S. House of Representatives from Hawaii. She's a Libertarian candidate and she's running on the slogan "Re-Defeat Bush." There's one thing that sets her apart from the rest of her opponents:

She's a prostitute.

Yes, that's right, she has come out and said that she avoids legal problems by suggesting gifts from her clientel, and her analogy for this is, quote: "Since children can sit on Santa Claus' lap and ask for gifts, I can suggest a gift that I prefer." Wow.

She hands out the "Re-Defeat Bush" cards with a condom inside and the message "Don't get screwed again." Rest assured though, she says that, if she was elected, she would not have time to continue her escort service while in office.

This is just what Washington needs: another whore who'll help anyone for the right price. If she gets elected I wouldn't be surprised to see Bill Clinton visiting Hillary more often in Washington.

Questions About BHS That I Ask Periodically...

1. How does Tay not get beat up ever day?
2. Does Niemi talk about my class as often as she did the class of '03?
3. Has Razamataz grown a spine yet?
4. Whatever happened to the benches from sophomore year?
5. How much does the Fifth Street suck this year?
6. Why don't they just paint a memorial each year for the Kixters in the halls? Eventually, every foot of hallway would be covered with fake smiles, it would save trees, and it would stop the problem of writing on the floor.
7. Does Natasha still like me? (PLEASE NO)
8. How awkward would it be for me to go on stage at the alumni concert and sing "Every Time"?
9. With a closed campus, what do they do with all of the kids who skip the assemblies?
10. Why don't they give all of the sports budget to the football team and have the other sports divide the football revenue equally? That way, the football team could have fireworks after each first down and dancing bears at half time. That would bring 'em in.

Ah, the good old days...

A Few of My Favorite Things...

Two of my favorite people are in the news again today:

Martha Stewart will begin her sentence for insider trading today at a West Virginia women's prison. It's a minimum security facility, so hopefully Martha will be able to get out and garden, otherwise I'm afraid she'll turn to crack to sublimate her rage against Janet Reno for stealing her haircut.

Hillary Duff's new movie "Raise Your Voice" releases today. I'll let the critics take this one:

"… too synthetic to even be called cheese." - Entertainment Weekly

"In an earlier pop era, the [Duff] equivalent would have been hiring Olivia Newton-John not for her voice, but for her acting skills." - L.A. Times

"It's only a matter of time until Duff, too, is a housemate on The Surreal Life, or whatever future reality TV show revives celebrities rightfully left behind." - The Onion's A.V. Club


In related news, Hillary Duff sucks. Straight up. No doubt. And she needs to stop badmouthing Lindsay Lohan: she was playing two roles in the same movie long before Hillary was blond enough to get on a Disney show. We can only hope that her little animated self got a spot in the new movie, cause its a better actress.

I really hope John Hansen reviews this film. I want to see how on earth he can connect a movie about a teen-wannabe having her dreams come true to Buffy or Futurama

On When Its Too Late For Extreme Makeover

A woman in Florida died at the hospital recently after she was given the wrong wrist band and, thus, the wrong medication. This would not seem very weird, except for the fact that the wirst band she was given was a man's! I'm guessing her funeral won't be heavily attended, because if she had people who really cared about her, they would have told her she looked like a man. Unless the hospital she was admitted to was manned by blind people who read braile on the wrist bands, her fmaily should be prosecuted for wrongful death for letting a woman that ugly leave her home.

On When You Know You Officially Suck As A Parent

Ok, so apparently this 11 year old girl was being babysat by a 34 year old woman in CA. They started fighting over feeding a dog, and the girlgrabbed the dog and started strangling it. When the babysitter pulled her away, she freaked out and ran outside, where she grabbed a shovel, a bat, and a BB gun and tried to attack the babysitter. She finally got ahold of a machete and chased the babysitter around the yard until the babysitter ran inside the house and locked herself in the bathroom.

Now, seriously, how messed up is your kid when she not only tries to choke your pet, but also attacks a middle-aged woman with various weapons in your front yard? And who just keeps a machete around? These people live in Barstow, not Brazil! This is the type of person that I'm sure if she made it to high school, all the smart kids would be nice to her in case she brought a gun to school.

Some peoples kids.

What the crap am I doing?

So... What to write...

I would like to take this opportunity to curse the Yankees: May you lose every game at the Metrodome for the rest of your existence. May your children be cursed with bad hair and acne. And may you lose every World Series Game for the rest of your existence on a walk-off home run.

good to get that out of my system.

Anyway, I realized today that my life at this point serves very little purpose. I go to simple classes, I watch TV, I eat, I sleep, I go on the computer, and thats about the extent of my existence. Sad.

I am really excited that I get to go home next week. Woo hoo for me.

Eventually I want this blog to have a schedule of themes for each day. Tentatively, its this:
Monday: My passionate ranting on a random topic
Tuesday: The stuff that I want to see/listen to/rent this week that I'll never actually do
Wednesday: Random thoughts on my life as a student
Thursday: Thoughts on the Brainerd Dispatch (esp. if John Hansen writes an article)
Friday: News week in review
Saturday: Sports week in review
Sunday:Whatever I feel like

Ummm...If you have any comments about how I should do this, let me know. I know this first one sucks, but I'm having trouble getting going. Peace out.

I have only begun to blog

Wassup? So it begins...