Random, but true...

Did anybody else know that there's a new band called "Junior Boys"? Just an fyi.

He should've stayed in Philadelphia

A CNN.com headline was as follows:

"Man on fire says he killed his wife"

Why, Denzel? Why?

Wow

okay, I cant think of any witty comments for this one, its just straight up weird.

http://www.local6.com/news/3804899/detail.html?subid=22100428&qs=1;bp=t

How are people this stupid?

According to Esquire magazine, the sexiest woman alive is Angelina Jolie. Yeah, if by sexy, you mean:

• scary beyond all reason
• once carried her husbands blood in a vial around her neck
• had a relationship with her brother
• is a sucky actress (except Girl, Interrupted)

Now, the #2 sexiest was Halle Berry. Thats another story...

In your face maya

So, I got to go home last weekend, and it was tons of fun. I got to see Haley, Boos, Meg, and Sully for lunch, which was lots of fun. My mom made like my 3 favorite meals that aren't ordered by phone. I got to hang out with people that I worked with at camp this summer, and that was tons of fun. I hung out with my sister a bunch. I watched Mystic River with Jenny. I went to McDonalds breakfast with Swan. I dont care if my sentence structure is repetitive, I had fun.

Now its only like 4 1/2 weeks until Thanksgiving. If I can survive thsi month, I can make it through anything.

My Weird Dream

So last night I had a dream that I was eating lunch with Nicki Spear and Ashley and then Nicki said something about inviting Amanda Hanson too, and then Amanda appeared next to her. Then Kareem Abdul-Jabbar came up and talked to Ashley, and that wasn't weird for anyone because he was her father. Then I woke up.

I have a headache and i feel lightheaded.

See above.

The Ultimate Stupid Word

Boo.

No, not like Casper the friendly ghost "boo." The ebonics term for boyfriend "boo." What the crap does that mean? Do people really think they sound cool talking like that? And I think that the only people who actually use "boo" in that context are performers, and the frequency of its usage is reaching epidemic proportions. I never thought that I would dislike any word more than using "crush" to describe someone you like (i.e. "Oh my gosh, Philicia, what did your chrush say to you now?" and "You are so crushing on her."), but "boo" is just plain stupid.

Also, whats up with using "menstrual" all of a sudden to describe an attitude? Like in the commercial where, following one girls confession that she wants a brownie, her friend says "Oh yeah. She's menstrual." Are the people who run the networks trying to lose their entire male viewing base by showing these commercials? Stupid people.

From My Calendar

"I was coming to work early this morning down Fifth Avenue in the predawn darkness and it reminded me of the old days when I was doin the Today show, because I saw the homless people in the church shleters and the park benches....And you feel great sympathy for them. But you also envy the extra hour of sleep that they're getting...you go by and say, 'If I were them, I would still be sleeping.'"
NBC Newsman Tom Brokaw, filling in for Matt Lauer

I, personally, appreciate Mr. Brokaw's honesty. I too am jealous of the homeless people's ability to sleep in.

Why Bill Clinton Wishes He'd Waited 8 Years

Elyssa Young is running for the U.S. House of Representatives from Hawaii. She's a Libertarian candidate and she's running on the slogan "Re-Defeat Bush." There's one thing that sets her apart from the rest of her opponents:

She's a prostitute.

Yes, that's right, she has come out and said that she avoids legal problems by suggesting gifts from her clientel, and her analogy for this is, quote: "Since children can sit on Santa Claus' lap and ask for gifts, I can suggest a gift that I prefer." Wow.

She hands out the "Re-Defeat Bush" cards with a condom inside and the message "Don't get screwed again." Rest assured though, she says that, if she was elected, she would not have time to continue her escort service while in office.

This is just what Washington needs: another whore who'll help anyone for the right price. If she gets elected I wouldn't be surprised to see Bill Clinton visiting Hillary more often in Washington.

Questions About BHS That I Ask Periodically...

1. How does Tay not get beat up ever day?
2. Does Niemi talk about my class as often as she did the class of '03?
3. Has Razamataz grown a spine yet?
4. Whatever happened to the benches from sophomore year?
5. How much does the Fifth Street suck this year?
6. Why don't they just paint a memorial each year for the Kixters in the halls? Eventually, every foot of hallway would be covered with fake smiles, it would save trees, and it would stop the problem of writing on the floor.
7. Does Natasha still like me? (PLEASE NO)
8. How awkward would it be for me to go on stage at the alumni concert and sing "Every Time"?
9. With a closed campus, what do they do with all of the kids who skip the assemblies?
10. Why don't they give all of the sports budget to the football team and have the other sports divide the football revenue equally? That way, the football team could have fireworks after each first down and dancing bears at half time. That would bring 'em in.

Ah, the good old days...

A Few of My Favorite Things...

Two of my favorite people are in the news again today:

Martha Stewart will begin her sentence for insider trading today at a West Virginia women's prison. It's a minimum security facility, so hopefully Martha will be able to get out and garden, otherwise I'm afraid she'll turn to crack to sublimate her rage against Janet Reno for stealing her haircut.

Hillary Duff's new movie "Raise Your Voice" releases today. I'll let the critics take this one:

"… too synthetic to even be called cheese." - Entertainment Weekly

"In an earlier pop era, the [Duff] equivalent would have been hiring Olivia Newton-John not for her voice, but for her acting skills." - L.A. Times

"It's only a matter of time until Duff, too, is a housemate on The Surreal Life, or whatever future reality TV show revives celebrities rightfully left behind." - The Onion's A.V. Club


In related news, Hillary Duff sucks. Straight up. No doubt. And she needs to stop badmouthing Lindsay Lohan: she was playing two roles in the same movie long before Hillary was blond enough to get on a Disney show. We can only hope that her little animated self got a spot in the new movie, cause its a better actress.

I really hope John Hansen reviews this film. I want to see how on earth he can connect a movie about a teen-wannabe having her dreams come true to Buffy or Futurama

On When Its Too Late For Extreme Makeover

A woman in Florida died at the hospital recently after she was given the wrong wrist band and, thus, the wrong medication. This would not seem very weird, except for the fact that the wirst band she was given was a man's! I'm guessing her funeral won't be heavily attended, because if she had people who really cared about her, they would have told her she looked like a man. Unless the hospital she was admitted to was manned by blind people who read braile on the wrist bands, her fmaily should be prosecuted for wrongful death for letting a woman that ugly leave her home.

On When You Know You Officially Suck As A Parent

Ok, so apparently this 11 year old girl was being babysat by a 34 year old woman in CA. They started fighting over feeding a dog, and the girlgrabbed the dog and started strangling it. When the babysitter pulled her away, she freaked out and ran outside, where she grabbed a shovel, a bat, and a BB gun and tried to attack the babysitter. She finally got ahold of a machete and chased the babysitter around the yard until the babysitter ran inside the house and locked herself in the bathroom.

Now, seriously, how messed up is your kid when she not only tries to choke your pet, but also attacks a middle-aged woman with various weapons in your front yard? And who just keeps a machete around? These people live in Barstow, not Brazil! This is the type of person that I'm sure if she made it to high school, all the smart kids would be nice to her in case she brought a gun to school.

Some peoples kids.

What the crap am I doing?

So... What to write...

I would like to take this opportunity to curse the Yankees: May you lose every game at the Metrodome for the rest of your existence. May your children be cursed with bad hair and acne. And may you lose every World Series Game for the rest of your existence on a walk-off home run.

good to get that out of my system.

Anyway, I realized today that my life at this point serves very little purpose. I go to simple classes, I watch TV, I eat, I sleep, I go on the computer, and thats about the extent of my existence. Sad.

I am really excited that I get to go home next week. Woo hoo for me.

Eventually I want this blog to have a schedule of themes for each day. Tentatively, its this:
Monday: My passionate ranting on a random topic
Tuesday: The stuff that I want to see/listen to/rent this week that I'll never actually do
Wednesday: Random thoughts on my life as a student
Thursday: Thoughts on the Brainerd Dispatch (esp. if John Hansen writes an article)
Friday: News week in review
Saturday: Sports week in review
Sunday:Whatever I feel like

Ummm...If you have any comments about how I should do this, let me know. I know this first one sucks, but I'm having trouble getting going. Peace out.

I have only begun to blog

Wassup? So it begins...