Hollywood's Finest

The weekend after Valentine's Day must be a remarkably busy one. I say this only judging by the major releases that will be at a theater near you tomorrow:

1. Because of Winn-Dixie
2. Constantine
3. Son of the Mask

Is this some kind of sick joke? Reviews for Son of the Mask:

"Horrificly unfunny...Son Of The Mask should put a bag over its head and never be seen again."
- BBC

"...kids aren't going to get the sexual innuendo, and not many adults will enjoy the blast of urine and splatters of snot and vomit."
- The Boston Phoenix

My personal take on Constantine:
No, I have not seen it, but judging by the trailers it looks like a more straight forward version of The Matrix, just with Keanu playing some sort of hybrid between Morpheus and Neo and Rachel Weisz playing the rest of Neo. One bright spot: Shia LaBeouf (of Disney Channel fame) is a supporting actor in this one. My take may be completely wrong, but trailers usually don't hold back much anymore.

Because of Winn-Dixie: I'm gonna slap that CGI grin off that stupid dog if I ever see him. What the frick are you thinking Dave Matthews? Did you look at this script and say, "You know, I've been wanting to get into film, and this one looks crappy enough to be a blockbuster"?

On an unrelated note, I've given props to someone in each of my last two posts, so I promise to stop doing that as often, otherwise it loses a lot of its meaning.